Wine & Food

Snooth User: rolifingers

Is it in good taste....

Posted by rolifingers, Feb 22, 2011.

 I have a friend that loves italian wine ( he's from Sicily ), so one day I went over to this great wine shop that dealt exclusively with italian wines and picked up a bottle for him.

 A week later he told me that the wine was so bad that he poured it down the drain, now, I didn't buy a 3 dollar wine, it wasn't bottom of the totum pole stuff.

 So, in a case like this, do you keep quiet and not bring up the fact that you didn't like the wine, or politely tell your friend that you didn't like the wine ?

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Replies

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Reply by Francotimeo, Feb 22, 2011.

Could depend on where you are from; this is just my little opinion: some people do not share the same sensibilities as others. I've heard it called "tact" but I don't know what that is. He is not trying to hurt your feelings, maybe he just thinks you appreciate the brutal honesty.

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 23, 2011.

 I here you Franco, but to tell me he tossed it down the drain was very disrespectful.First of all I didn't ask him if he liked the wine or not,he volenteered to give me that information in this particular manner,a simple " I didn't really like this particular vintage" or "I didn't appreciate what the vintner did with this" would have sufficed.

 

 

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Reply by Stephen Harvey, Feb 23, 2011.

Tough call Roli, I have some blunt friends but I guess you get used to their bluntness and it is part of the friendship package.  Maybe he needs to lessons in tact.

I always let my friends know how a wine they give tastes, they I do it depends on the individual, eg to my best friend it would be "Andre that wine was crap!" and we would laugh about it and discuss the wine.  If it was someone who gave me the wine as a thank you present then I would keep my opinion to myself because the the wine is part of a gesture of thanks and the giving is more important than the wine. 

Off course there is the view of my 85yo father "there is no such thing as bad free wine!"

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 23, 2011.

 Well, I think you have more sense then my friend does SH ( well, he's actually a co-worker ), You seem to have social skills.

Hey, I think your dad has the right attitude!

 

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Reply by VitaVinifera, Feb 23, 2011.

Disrespectful, no questions asked.

Like you said, there were many ways out of this tactfully. By making a point of saying that he dumped it down the drain is just rude. Write it off as part of the Sicilian attitude.

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Reply by gregt, Feb 23, 2011.

Roli - in a group of monkeys there will be one monkey, who, if he doesn't like something or is displeased with another monkey, has a tantrum and hits the other monkeys.  When he is happy he tries to have sex with them.  Eventually all the other monkeys start to stay away from him.  They have, in their non-verbal ways, an understanding of what it takes to be part of a social group.

If they could articulate their feelings, they would probably say that "brutal honesty" is a nice euphemism for what they, in their non-verbal way, understood as boorish, crass and primitive  behavior.  "Tact" on the other hand, is a nice shorthand way to describe quite simply that behavior which allows social groups to keep functioning.  It indicates, that unlike an infant, a socialized being has some understanding of that fact that his or her immediate wants, likes, dislikes, etc., are not necessarily of profound interest to everyone, and that even for a primitive being, there are more acceptable, if not necessarily more clever, ways of accomplishing a goal without needlessly antagonizing the people who should be your allies.

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Reply by Stephen Harvey, Feb 23, 2011.

Greg love the monkey analogy, maybe we could classify the subject monkey as the Paris Hilton Monkey

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 23, 2011.
Edited Feb 23, 2011

Thank you VitaVinifera. 

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 23, 2011.
Edited Feb 23, 2011

Hey GregT, you are right. Next time I'll give my co-worker a banana instead of a bottle of wine, he might jump up and down with delight, and I hope he doesn't try to have sex with me. ( canned laughs here )

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Reply by VitaVinifera, Feb 23, 2011.

Banana wine?  You can ferment other things, why not bananas?

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Reply by Richard Foxall, Feb 23, 2011.

Banana wine: Two birds with one stone.  The banana is also suggestive of other things when you're happy, and you can throw the peel at him when you are angry.

I don't understand why anyone thinks being "brutally honest" is a virtue.  Honest, sure, but how does brutality improve honesty, or anything else?  If the point of the gift of wine is to taste and get an opinion of the wine, saying it was fairly undrinkable is more than enough honesty.  To say you poured it down the sink?  Rude.  How about, wasn't really my cuppa tea, but thanks for the kind thought. Solves the problem of you giving him another bottle of the same, while leaving open that you'll select something you know he'll like, or picking from a different category, like a 5th of scotch.

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Reply by Stephen Harvey, Feb 23, 2011.

Or a pineapple, very nice when you are friendly and when not there is always the strategic placement of the rough end

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Reply by napagirl68, Feb 23, 2011.

To your original question:

I think it depends on your relationship with this person.  I have one friend who loves wine as I do, and we have a similar palate.  If I purchased a wine that I had not tasted and gave it to her, I would tend to tell her that I hadn't tasted it (in case it is awful).  If she were to then tell me that it was not good, I would appreciate the feedback in order to not buy this wine again.

However, this does not sound like the situation you describe.  You gave a friend a gift, and that person went out of their way to let you know that your gift "sucked" and poured it down the drain.  I, personally, consider that rude behaviour.  However there may be some Sicilian cultural male bonding crap that I know nothing about here.

Sorry your gift was received in this manner.  In the future, bring him a fruitcake;-)

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 24, 2011.

LOL! Foxall, I love your comment.

Thanks SH, your lubeless pineapple suggestion sounds like a more appropriate gift for my co-worker.

napagirl68, thank you for your input. You are right, telling someone you haven't tasted a wine you are giving as a gift is a good idea.

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Reply by AudioVino, Feb 27, 2011.

Lame...sounds like your friend has a serious lack of tact.  Also sounds like he wasted some decent wine.  Next time you should get him something that is bottom of the totum poll and tell him it's really expensive.

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 28, 2011.

Well AudioVino, he won't be getting any more wine from me.

The funny thing is when he wants to buy a bottle of wine for a friend, he wants me to go on the internet and search for local wine shops, one day I found a bottle of  Nero d'avola for 8 bucks and I suggested he can get that for his friend and his reply was " 8 dollars, that's too much, find something cheaper".

What a class act!

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Reply by Stephen Harvey, Feb 28, 2011.

Roli

I went and saw Billy Connelly the other night and he did a 15 minute skit on a certain way to tell someone to go away.

It sounded like the Russian Chess Player  - Farkov

I think you should introduce your work colleague to this concept

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Reply by rolifingers, Feb 28, 2011.

LOL!!! Thanks Stephen, that was awesome!

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Reply by Richard Foxall, Feb 28, 2011.

Well, you can get Nero D'avola that's pretty good for even less, it is true. But sounds like the kind of friend who barely deserved the name.

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Reply by ChipDWood, Mar 1, 2011.

...Because I have HAD "bannana wine", and it tastes not like bananas- but like banana PEEL.

To answer the original question: RUDE, distasteful in mannerism- whatever.  You do not do that.   No matter how bad the vino may be- ya don't do that.  PARTICULARLY if you know the FIRST THING about wine.

If your "friend" knew the first thing about it- he never would have divulged such info.  Secondly- he may have realized the fault with the wine and been able to clarify to you WHY he did such a thing.  Explain to you why the wine was bad/cooked/possibly corked- whatevs.

Just pitching it, then lobbing the act of it back at the one who gave it as a gift?

Que?  Come again?

Dude had an axe to grind or something.  That's about as rude as it gets.  Even for the ignorant.

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