These palate profiles, inasmuch as they can be, sort of reflect the various places people find themselves happily stuck in. Not your thing? Move on, but I think you might find a profile of your palate somewhere among these hipsters and geeks!
The New World Palate
The New World palate loves intensity and gobs of sweet fruit. Acidity? That’s for salad dressing. Bring on the hedonism.
The New World palate loves:
- Argentine Malbec! Yes!
- Anything Chris Ringland has made! 99 pts!
- Isn’t Brunello a Super Tuscan? It’s so dark!
- Super Toro – Ribera del Duero! It’s even darker!
- Napa cults! Get on the list!
- Favorite punctuation? Exclamation points!!!
The Wine Geek Palate
In comparison, the wine geek palate is driven almost exclusively by acidity. Geeks tend to geek about everything, so these are the folks who are building food and wine pairing apps. Since wine is a part of their daily life, it must go with food at some point.
The Wine Geek palate loves:
- Traditional Rioja. This stuff ages better than Bordeaux.
- Cabernet Franc. That’s pronounced Saumur-Champigny.
- Austrian Gruner Veltliner. This stuff ages better than White Burgs.
- Burgundy from the Cote de Beaune. Corton is the new Grand Cru.
- German Riesling. Love the Saar and the Grosses Gewachs. Trocken, baby.
- Favorite punctuation? Das Umlaut
The Old World Palate
The Old World palate is in deep trouble. With each passing vintage, fewer and fewer wines seem to satisfy these folks. “Does this seem oakier than it used to be?” is a popular refrain, and while there are plenty of wines that meet their needs, these curmudgeons seem to see their Bordeaux stems as decidedly half-empty.
The Old World palate loves:
- Bordeaux from no later than 1990. Because after that, things went to crap.
- Barolo. You know the five producers we’re talking about.
- California Cabernet from no later than 1986. Because after that, things went to crap.
- Portuguese wines from the Douro. Rustic and rich, like me.
- Burgundy from no later than 1993. Because after that, things went to crap.
- Favorite punctuation? The period.
The Hipster Palate
The hipster palate, which exploded from small pockets in France and most recently Brooklyn, searches out the wines that someone with the Old World palate might have grown to love, had they had time to sit with them as their palates evolved. These are cutting-edge wines and as with all things cutting-edge, there are many flops along the way – but that’s cool.
The Hipster palate loves:
- Grower Champagne. The harder to find, the better. Seriously, that’s a rule.
- Sherry. All sorts of profundity can be found in each and every bottle.
- Nebbiolo. Not Barolo, but rather Carema – wait, I meant Boca. Carema is so 2007.
- Skin contact whites, a.k.a. orange wines. These are the real shizzle.
- San soufre. Wines without sulfur are hot. And occasionally exploding.
- Favorite punctuation? The Irony Mark. Seriously.
The Point Chaser's Palate
The point chaser’s palate loves pointy wines. They’re not sure what it is about these wines (mostly the point, they think), but they love them! Gotta have them. Join the lists, earlier the better, and develop those retailer relationships because we all know the hoops we have to jump through to secure those 99 and 100 point wines!
The Point Chaser’s palate loves:
- Pairs of nines.
- Favorite punctuation? The interrobang, most commonly following a WTF.
The Park Avenue Palate
The Park Avenue palate is where we all would like to reside, or at least visit. With money no issue, it’s fun and easy to breeze through the world’s finest wines. These folks don’t know from points, they’re always talking triple digits, though sadly, they have yet to find the $100 rose.
The Park Avenue palate loves:
- Napa Valley wines. Of course, they can’t be available at retail, though…
- Bordeaux. First growths, maybe a Super Second for the weekend BBQ….
- Grand Marque Champagne. Dom? That’s a house pour…
- Burgundy. Grand Cru from the Cotes du Nuit…
- Domaine Ott rose. We have to drink something in the Hamptons, St. Barts, St. Tropez…
- Favorite punctuation. The ellipses…
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