Dehydration: The Perfect Way to Age Wine

The future of (faster) wine aging is here


One of the enemies of the wine lover is time. The greatest wines in the world are meant to be aged, to be given the time to allow oxygen, and who knows what else, to work their magic on young wine. The edges smooth out, the texture turns silky, flavors gain nuance, depth and complexity. It's magic in the bottle, though nobody can fully explain what happens in that bottle.
While wine lovers tend to be a pretty geeky crowd, I know that many (if not most) of us aren't nearly as interested in the how’s as we are in the what’s. Give us your finely aged wines and we'll be a bunch of happy campers. Of course, knowing which of your bottles are ready to drink, which are past peak, which need more time and which are just trashed is a mystery that can only be solved by pulling the cork and drinking the wine—until now!
We're thrilled to be the first to announce a new, groundbreaking technique for wine lovers: AmmazzaVino vacuum dehydration storage! AmmazzaVino founder and CEO Gianni Brunellopolis sat down with me recently to discuss the advantages of AmmazzaVino, and how it's going to revolutionize the wine collecting world.
The Details
Simply put, AmmazzaVino removes the water and alcohol solution from your wine, leaving you with a small envelope of wine crystals to store. As you can imagine, this cuts down on the potential storage costs you might incur while aging your wine, but more importantly it gives you the flexibility of enjoying your wine at peak maturity whenever you want to! The patented process involves uncorking your favorite bottle of wine and plugging the compact AmmazzaVino machine into the bottle neck. The magic starts as the machine creates a vacuum in the bottle, allowing the alcohol and water to evaporate into a convenient holding container, all at room temperature.
The water and alcohol return to liquid form within the AmmazzaVino container and are separated through a second round of evaporation into two storage containers. The beauty here is that while you can always save and reuse the respective water and alcohol to rebuild your wine, they are simply pure water and alcohol, meaning that you can rebuild your wine anywhere, anytime with some spring water and vodka!  It gets even better, you can adjust your wine with one of AmmazzaVino's Plus Packets to add a few points to your wines’ ratings. Plus Packets come in 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 point denominations, allowing you to add just as many points to your wine as you need. It's revolutionary!
Testing and Tweaking 
As for your wine crystals, you’re welcome to store them and drink it with abandon (whenever!), but why not run some tests to verify quality and do some tweaking? Just a few grains need to be added to one of the handy Defect Testers included without the AmmazzaVino machine. Seal the little envelope, break the vial and shake. It's as simple as matching the color-coded chart to your sample. If it turns blue, it's corked. Red? It's oxidized. It'll turn mauve if it is an orange wine and green if it's been adulterated with glycol. If the powder passes the defect test, you're ready to store it away in a cool, dry place. Simple as that.
Ready to enjoy your wine? The wine in its powdered form has been inert since dehydration, so now you get to make sure the wine is perfect when you rehydrate it. The process is simple, almost like dehydrating the wine in reverse, but with a twist. As you're adding the water you can add in drops of liquid oxygen (a small tank is built into the AmmazzaVino machine). Oxygen tanks may sound intimidating, but it's a foolproof process; just dial in how many years of age you want the wine to show and the machinate automatically does the rest. You can even change the alcohol content of your wine. A simple turn of the dial gives you total control over alcohol, from 11 to 20%, another easy way to make your wine taste better!
Tasting Trade Secrets
If you're really into killer wine, you should check out the Plus Packets. I spoke with Gianni briefly about these little miracles, and while they are trade secrets, I did get him to open up a bit about some of what you can find in the packets—though the specific blends per point packets obviously have to remain a closely guarded secret. According to Gianni, some of the packets contain powdered Deglet Noor dates, harvested by virgins (Gianni admits this is mostly based on corporate superstition, but so far the practice is working, so they’ve kept it up). 
Those dates are then blended with air-dried pulverized Nevers oak bonsai trees that were dry-farmed at over 10,000 feet in a cave on Mont Blanc; that’s combined with a hint of Acacia gum, the contents of a Kopi Luwak K-cup for the softest, silkiest tannins, and some Bonne Maman Wild Blueberry Preserves. As I mention before, the packets come in 1 through 5 point additions. Gianni did caution against recommending the 5 point Plus Packets to wine neophytes (their heads might explode), or diabetics, for more obvious clinical reasons.
I've gotten my AmmazzaVino machine and am just working out a few kinks. But the benefits seem to outweigh any hitches. For just $1,449.99 I'm not only saving a ton of space in my cellar, I'm getting ready to enjoy all of my wine at its peak. 2010 Grand Cru Burgundy, bring it on! Just like my microwave, the AmmazzaVino machine even comes with hand presets. I plug in Burgundy, 2010, $125, and it does all the work for me. And if I'm not happy I can go back and tweak the wine to sheer perfection—in no time at all.
What a great addition to every wine geek's cellar. Can you wait to get yours?

Mentioned in this article


  • Snooth User: BobRoss
    34043 8

    Wonderful, Greg. Please send this early adopter the first available model, even if it is only a protoype.

    I can't wait!

    Robert Ross

    Apr 01, 2013 at 1:49 PM

  • Snooth User: Dr Vino
    225998 48

    Ha ha April Fool

    Apr 01, 2013 at 1:56 PM

  • Snooth User: madmanny
    106551 156

    Can I just buy the plus packets and not the unit? I've got some leftover Passover wines that could use some help.

    Apr 01, 2013 at 2:01 PM

  • Snooth User: lorini
    471850 1

    The name is perfect, in fact AmmazzaVino in Italian means WineKiller. That's what this thing does, correct? Kill real wine.

    Apr 01, 2013 at 2:49 PM

  • Snooth User: Foothills2
    Hand of Snooth Voice of Snooth
    791437 36

    Damn, would that I had the time to come up with such compelling blog postings in honor of this day dedicated to taking advantage of the gullible!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 3:12 PM

  • Snooth User: madmanny
    106551 156

    No plus packets for me :(
    I'm devastated.

    Apr 01, 2013 at 3:20 PM

  • Snooth User: Gregory Dal Piaz
    Hand of Snooth Voice of Snooth
    89065 238,748

    Bob Ross, Long time no see. The first one i get my hands on is yours.

    Happy April 1st everybody!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 3:34 PM

  • Perfect for all the wino who are concerned about ABV.
    And great for camping -- and the space station!

    All the best,

    Nannette Eaton

    Apr 01, 2013 at 3:36 PM

  • Snooth User: Richard Foxall
    Hand of Snooth
    262583 4,004

    So, wait, it turns wine to water? Will miracles never cease?
    Thankfully no wine ever receives less than 86 points, so now every wine can be a 90 pointer with just a small addition of point packs.
    Void where chaptalization is prohibited. (But only if you get caught.)
    From now on I'm scraping the crystals off the backs of my corks and selling them in the counterfeit market! (Take that, Rudi K!)
    Wait, the crystals clogged my Vinturi!

    Greg, thanks for all the inspiration--you could be the wine standup comic.

    Apr 01, 2013 at 4:31 PM

  • Snooth User: rhw168
    635553 144

    Scotty, beam me up!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 5:10 PM

  • April fool's day, certainly!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 5:12 PM

  • Snooth User: lotm
    878861 16

    Exceptional! Thanks for the hoot!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 5:15 PM

  • Snooth User: Mark Suss
    951226 137

    CEO Gianni Brunellopolis - With that name he was born to make a breakthrough in wine!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 5:45 PM

  • Snooth User: JT Greeno
    1078174 194

    Works great!... Just like dehydrated water.

    Apr 01, 2013 at 6:55 PM

  • It was too ridiculous not to be true.

    Apr 01, 2013 at 8:19 PM

  • Snooth User: JAB34
    1038844 40

    HaHaha,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,funny chit!!!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 8:32 PM

  • Snooth User: dmcker
    Hand of Snooth
    125836 4,986

    Greg, since I don't have Bruno's email, could you suggest a second product for his venture? How about a finely powdered version of those crystals where you can take small (properly labeled) baggies along in your pocket or sock, make a run to the loo and have a snort, then head back out to the table or bar and quaff some water and suddenly have tastes in those swallows that transport you to a top-fight Napa or Bordeaux or Piemonte or Santorini (or Ibiza or Mykonos) experience? Think of the branding possibilities! Travel packs, too! Hell, in certain circles they'll make you look cool even if you're only sticking to alcohol! Tell Bruno to call me about the details!!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 8:55 PM

  • Snooth User: larrylee13
    459444 54

    Wonderful April 1st "news release"!

    Apr 01, 2013 at 11:04 PM

  • Snooth User: old nick
    436823 9


    Apr 01, 2013 at 11:17 PM

  • Snooth User: arizan
    1268953 30

    Funny April Fool ! More than KillWine, is the name Brunellopolis thst is suspect, since that name is according to the scandal of some lots of Brunello di Montalcino to which Merlot was added to respond to the "sacrosanct Market" (USA) demand.

    Apr 02, 2013 at 5:22 AM

  • Snooth User: billyblee
    163398 27

    Can I just keep the Virgins , Please .

    Apr 02, 2013 at 8:40 AM

  • Good 'un. Ya got me there for a couple minutes. Although highly dubious throughout, the "picked by virgins" was the clincher.

    Apr 02, 2013 at 9:39 AM

  • Snooth User: Chris Carpita
    Hand of Snooth Voice of Snooth
    33093 5,546

    I like David's suggestion: this method would also permit "looping" so prisoners can bring wine into solitary confinement. Just something I heard on NPR yesterday.

    Apr 02, 2013 at 9:57 AM

  • Snooth User: tlowme
    112853 147

    It's a joke? Shoot. I thought I'd found the answer to bringing my favorite wines home with me on the airlines in my hand baggage.

    Apr 02, 2013 at 11:52 AM

  • Snooth User: Deggers
    338672 38


    Apr 02, 2013 at 2:53 PM

  • LOL!

    Apr 02, 2013 at 8:32 PM

  • We used to have canned, dehydrated water back on the Submarine. Simply pop the top, add 8oz. of water and you has yourself a nice cup of H2O

    Apr 02, 2013 at 9:44 PM

  • Snooth User: tlowme
    112853 147

    Sounds like 'Stone Soup' to me WineManRon. So, maybe this wine hydration system will also lend minerality to the wine!! It does it all!!!!

    Apr 02, 2013 at 10:22 PM

  • had me at "the enemy of wine lovers is time." And I sat right up with the "dial in the year" part. got April Fool joke in forever.

    Apr 03, 2013 at 11:19 AM

  • Hey Greg, funny. I caught it in my Blog too:

    Apr 04, 2013 at 12:10 AM

  • Old news!. I understand it's been in use on the Intl Space station for several years now.

    Apr 04, 2013 at 1:43 PM

  • Snooth User: tmusallam
    1147945 37

    I am SORRY but this is freaking CRAZY , so all the blood sweet knoledege of making wine is becoming 2ndary , so adding vodks and water should bring back the wine to original or better form , look we all know there is sience involved in making wine so pretty soon are we buying dry crystals and making our own? That is hard for a wine vender for over 32 years to accept. The Wine Barron

    Apr 05, 2013 at 8:57 PM

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