Yes, there are plenty of us. The people who know it all and simply understand wine, unlike you readers. We rate wines based on typicity, nuance, ageability and finesse, all based on spending merely five minutes with a glass of wine.
What the hell is typicity and finesse you might ask? Well, like pornography, we know it when we see it and you need to check yourself for even asking such questions of us.
Let’s get one thing straight, we don’t rate wine for you, we rate wine for the 1%ers. We use a language full of code words to make sure you never catch on to us, and attack you when we think that’s not working. You should be happy we’ve shared our point scores with you. Now please renew your subscription lest you miss a single prognostication.
Photo courtesy Cea via Flickr/CC